Everyone has a myspace in the today world. Myspace has given all those rat faced children out there a voice. A voice of poison and mediocrity. They send you messages asking to be added, “check out my video!” they say. “We have a distinct mix of soundscapes ranging from the foo fighters to missy elliot.”, they beckon. “Beseech thy frail frame of frozen finglanottingham sir, and perchance a muffin of a dream?”

This would all be well and good,

if not for

one

small

inconsequential bit

of

factualness….

Most these people can only make boring techno beats and nursery rhymes about lost girlfriends(“all them dirty biznitches”)

So light them guitars on the fire. Give up at being in a band. Sell all that crap and join a frat. Cause the only way your ugly ass is gonna get any ladies is with force…..or a train. Woo Woo!

Give Up!. Awesomeness in music ended with the creation of the melodica. Fruity guy.

Oh yeah Babaaaaaay.

Blow me a melody.

Uhhh.

Give it to daddy.

Smoochy smooch.

Yeah.

-Bill

Does this music suck?

Yes.

Why does it suck?

Because people think that adding some jazz loops and some sparsely pseudo intelligent lyrics make a hip hop album “fresh and different”.

Real life examples:

(Homeless guy at bus stop standing next to me.)

Homeless “Stan”: “Hey. Hey. Hey. You like Radiohead?”

Bill: “Umm sure.”

Homeless Stan: “Yeah. They sound good right. (Grabs his balls for some reason) Anways, I wuz walking down near the docks listening to radiohead coming out of this building right?”

Bill: “Right.”

Homeless Stan: “And out of nowhere this fucking guy. Fuck this guy. This guy throws a slurpee at my back. Cherry crap all over the fucking place. “

Bill: “Ok.”

Homeless Stan: “He just tossed it at me for no reason. None. That fuck! Anyway guess what?”

Bill: “What?”

Homeless Stan: “Radiohead sucks.”

(He then punched me in the stomach and ran off cackling.)

This probably taught you all a lesson about experimenting. It never works, unless you resemble Mike Patton.

The end.

-Bill